If your dreams don’t scare you…

Dream Big...I’ve had a lot of dreams! I’m very idealistic and from the age of 14 I’ve dreamt big and who’s to say there is something wrong with dreaming big.

I wanted to be a film producer…I wanted to turn my favourite book into a feature film and have my own company and that was when I was 14! Can you imagine how big they became?

This dream continued until I was 19 when reality smacked me in a face with a door that said ‘you don’t know me’. So I began to dream smaller (well kind of).

When you are 14, the world is your oyster and you are encouraged by friends, parents, teachers to pursue your ideal fantasy! Believe me when I say there were times when I wished I’d wanted to be a lawyer or a doctor, for me they seemed a lot more attainable.

I had this friend at the time who encouraged me to never give up on something that made my whole body shake with fear almost. It sounds crazy but there is a lot to be said for feeling scared about your dreams. My dream when I was 21 was to walk onto the Harry Potter film set as part of the crew and I had contacts but it just wasn’t the right time in my life and sadly marriage and a family became my new dream if you like and I turned my back on ever working in the film industry.

Time is a great healer and although I tried to go back to education some years ago, it never felt right financially or emotionally but I discovered a love for marketing and events and September 2013 I began my first step towards a strong career in marketing as I returned to university.

Wasn’t the easiest of decisions, 3o hours a week job, two kids, a husband and home to look after but it was kind of now or never moment and I grabbed on with both hands and despite my reservations in the beginning I’m really loving it and its the best decision I’ve ever made.

But it’s made me re-think my life after university. Both my children will be in school and I was tempted to stay locally for the first year or two and then work in London but now my passion for film has resurfaced and I want to work in distribution or film marketing so this is ideally London unless I find a marketing agency first and move across. Oh its such a confusing time and the thought of actually getting where I want to be is scary. To work on a the marketing of a major feature film scares the hell out of me.

It’s always been so unattainable and now it actually could be within my grasp, I’m scared that life will change (obviously) but not the way I’d hope.